Saturday, January 22, 2011

From three to five

This is it!  The LAST weekend we will spend as a family of three.  Next weekend we'll be bringing home two new babies and extending our family to five.  Some of us tend to jump in numbers rather then slowly grow one by one.  Just 5 more days of putting just Addyson to bed, 5 more dinners just the three of us, only 5 more nights that Cody and I will have a few hours of relaxation without any interruptions, just 4 more mornings to wake up between 7 and 8, just 5 more days of dealing with congestion, 5 more days of pelvic pain and pressure, 5 more days of heartburn hell, just 5 more days until our life is going to be forever changed....just 5, 5 more days. 
I know that I can make it through these next few days, and I'm holding these babies in by resting as much as possible.  I can't guarantee that Addyson will help matters, as she jumps on my belly almost all day.  I think someone is anxious to meet her siblings (or maybe she just wants her mommy to be "normal" again).  Of course I will have to heal and will be in pain, but that's what drugs arefor (to help minimize that pain).  I know that there is an end to it all and I will be able to see my feet again, and that my stomach will be much smaller (it won't look pretty, but it will be smaller).  Eventually I will be able to walk comfortably again, I'll be able to run through the house after Addyson, play in Addyson's toy room, and be able to move from sitting to standing at a much faster rate. 
I cannot, though, for the life of me actually picture the babies here.  I cannot see them in my arms getting hugs and kisses, or even picture them at home with us.  I went through the same disbelief with Addyson.  I just can't picture that we will be so lucky to actually be blessed with two more children, and thus cannot see them in our lives.  I can, though, picture not being pregnant any more.  Odd, I know.  But, nothing about me is truly "normal."
So, as the day comes to a close and Cody is home for the weekend we will be trying to cherish these last few days as a family of three soon to grow to 5in just a matter of 5 days.  I will spend most of the weekend grading papers and writing up progress reports, but I'm going to try and take mental snap shots of the time we share together this weekend, for it will be our last as just us 3.  Instead of focusing on all the pain Addyson is causing me as she jumps on my belly, I will focus on how she is just trying to get close to me and give me lots of love.  Instead of focusing on the pain I feel when I walk any where, I will just grit my teeth and put on a smile and remember these moments.  No pain no gain, right?
And I would like to add....Ike you better listen:  "Stay far, far away!  You will NOT ruin my delivery!  I have done everything I can to hold off on having these babies until Wednesday, and I will NOT allow you to take that away from me.  Damnit...I think I deserve to have the babies at the hospital I have chosen with the doctor I am comfortable with.  I repeat:  STAY THE HELL AWAY!!!"

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