Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday Senses - 1/30/10

Sight:  Barbie cases on wheels (good idea in thought, but now all the girls do is stock pile their crap in there), Princess Crocs - I wish I had cool looking Crocs instead of boring colored ones.
Hear:  The girls chattering downstairs, probably destroying the toy room as I type, cartoons (why do I still have them on if no one is in the room?)
Feel:  The soft microfiber recliner (hubby is at the gym, so I'm taking advantage of sitting in "his" recliner). 
Smell:  Coffee fresh and ready; all my Scentsy warmers filling the house with their yumminess (totally made that word up). I will be hosting a party next week, and will make a shameless plug.  Go check it out, it won't hurt to just look. 
Taste:  Coffee, as much as I need my coffee, I really do despise the after taste and will be rushing to go brush my teeth again. 

Go check out the host, Rebecca, she's hysterical! 

Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers - updating

  • This week has been mostly spent at home. 
  • We ended potty training with Kinsley she is a stubborn little thing.
  • Eligh is being B-A-D.  He used to be my lovable, easy to please, sweet little boy.
  • Now he growls, screeches, sticks his tongue out, and tells us "No" all the time.  What happened?
  • I went to the gym twice this week - but one of those days I did run 2 miles, not even close to my 3 miles I used to run.
  • We updated our van (that had 50,000+ miles on it, a cracked windshield, front axle that probably would need to be fixed soon, and a small cracked tail light) for a 2010 updated version.  Fancy radio, a backup camera, dual dvd players (this was the selling point after replacing 2 dvd players), and less than 20,000 miles on it. 
  • Kids have not set foot in it yet. 
  • A little experiment was done this week.  We put all three of the kids to bed at 6:45 and they were all quiet and asleep by 7:00.  Put the littlest ones to bed at 7 and Addy to bed at 7:30 - E always goes right to sleep at bed time, and the girls were up until 8:30. 
  • My application has been submitted, FAFSA filed, and I am looking at a start date of March 1 to work on my masters. 
  • I don't know what to do with my self these days (more on this later).
  • Eligh now tells Kinsley several times a day, "Settle down!"
  • We are possibly going to attempt to take all the kids to a movie tonight.  Why?  It's free.  I'll try almost anything that is free once. 
Send some love to our host, Danifred

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Truthful Tuesday - say "no" to potty training

I haven't done this in a hot minute, and feel like shedding some of my "bad" parenting skills.  Enjoy!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Bitter and disgusted

Yesterday's game was HORRIBLE!!!!  Bears' fans all over the the country are also disgusted.  Not only did they lose their chance at going to the Superbowl, but they lost to the number 1 team they hate the MOST.  What an absolute disgrace!

I will have to suffer through the Superbowl watching the enemy play, and hopefully they will lose so I can feel some sort of victory. 

We are attempting for the 8th time to potty train Kinsley, and we are failing.  She is wearing panties, and asking to go on the potty, and will sit on the potty 53 times a day to produce absolutely nothing.  She even spent an hour last night in her bed crying to use the potty, which we let her three times and again nothing happened.  She has 2-4 accidents a day, and that's it.  The most recent accident happened in the bathroom, so is that a step closer?  I'm so over it, and if by the weekend she does not do ANYthing, I'm going to stick her back in the diapers, because I don't have it in me to keep this up.  Eligh is not at all ready or interested, which is fine by me, and I hope that he just does it on his own before the age of 4 and I can forget this awful stage of their growing up. 

An answer to one question:  Where is the best place you have geographically lived?

  • I have lived in three different states (Illinois, Georgia, and Missouri) now, and in seven different "homes."  Putting aside family and friends, I would say that where we lived in Georgia was the best geographically.  There was loads to do within two hours, and most being an hour or less.  There were beaches, flat lands, and decent weather.  I did NOT like the heat or humidity, and that is something I can't live with forever.  I cannot form a solid opinion about Missouri, just yet, as we have been here for only a month, but I don't foresee it being a place I would rank higher than Georgia.  With all the moving I have done, I have learned that it doesn't matter where you live or how far you are from people and places you know.  As long as you have a positive attitude and an openness to trying something new, happiness can be made everywhere.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bigger than the bowl

Today, if you come by our house you will hear the following:  yelling, screaming, cheering, chanting, taunting, items being thrown, feet stomping, and the sound of someone weeping.  Why is that?  My husband and I will be watching the Bears vs. The Packers, which in our opinion is bigger than the Superbowl.  We are a house divided and it is going to get ugly here this afternoon.  U-G-L-Y. 

For those of you who don't know or care about this game, cheer for the Bears, ok?  Thanks. 

For a little Sunday fun, ask me a question.  Any thing you want to ask?  Go ahead, ask. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

I want one of those obnoxious, neon, lighted signs

The night of the rehearsal, my soon-to-be-married sister decided that I would be giving out communion during the wedding.  First thought, GERMS!  Yes, I said my 1st thought was germs (I know I'm a little, ok very demented). 
Wedding, I go up to hand out communion along with my brother who was chosen, also at the last minute, to give the wine.  The priest offers my brother and I before we all set down to offer communion to the rest of the guests.  1.  I don't like wine and 2. GERMS.
Fast forward to going to my sister's house to leave the kiddos while we go to the sister says, "You'll never guess what (cousin so and so) asked me at the church."  Me:  "What?" Sister:  "He asked if you were pregnant, because you didn't drink the wine."  This was just the beginning of the questions that were being fired at me. 
1.  When are you going to have another?  never
2.  You just never know what will happen.  ha, ha.  As if getting pregnant were easy
3.  You want another set of twins?  Not really planning on having any more.
4.  Twins don't run in the family, how crazy.  You are right, they don't.  Clomid=increased chances for multiples.  I am one of them.
5.  You must have your hands full. Sure do.  Don't really need to be reminded
6.  You actually tried to have them this close?  Army = long deployments. 
I would love to have a scrolling neon sign to wear for such events where you are drilled and feel completely exposed by the time you go through your infertility.  Not that most of the people try to understand everything you are saying, but damnit they need to know.  The more we talk about infertility, the more awareness we can receive. 

The Infertility Rollercoaster

Wow, life surely is a rollercoaster ride.....
Cody and I had, had many conversations about increasing our family size sooner then later.  We weighed all our options, and with Cody still having two years left in the army, there is a possibility that he may have to deploy one more time before getting out.  Since he was so lucky to miss Addyson's entire first year of life, we did not want that to happen to our next child.  We made a decision to try and conceive while he was home on R&R (around Xmas 2007); which is not as easy as it seems. 
After having Addyson I thought everything was going to look up for me (as far as getting a regular period, etc).  Well, that ended around September.  I gave it until October and decided that I would indeed need to refer back to fertility drugs (i.e. Clomid) to get pregnant.  I called my doctor (now that I have a doctor I can call----thank you United Healthcare) and we put forth a plan of trying to get me pregnant during those 20 days Cody would be home.  We had it all planned out, and if everything worked out then we would indeed be able to conceive while Cody was home on R&R. 
The journey to conceive was causing a tremendous amount of anxiety for me.  Why?  I swore I would not get my period after taking my progesterone.  Finally...10 days after finishing Clomid she arrived (and it just so happened to be the day after Cody arrived home) --- ironic?  Very!  It was a blessing in disguise, that is for sure.  I started taking my OPK tests the day after finishing clomid, and again was very discouraged.  Would the lines every be the same???  Finally, on January 3, 2008 I got a positive OPK and ran back into the bedroom (mind you my old bedroom back home in Illinois ---- that's a whole other story) and announced with delight it was time.  LOL! 
Cody's R&R was extended until mid January, because his mother passed away while he was home on R&R.  With all the stress of traveling to Illinois and my MIL passing away, I had truly given up on TTC and did not believe that I would get a positive HPT.  Since Cody's leave was extended, I was able to test while he was home, and day after day I get coming back to bed pissed off.  I so badly wanted a positive HPT.  On day 10, I saw a faint line, a line I swore I was make believing.  I woke Cody up and told him to take a look and he said that yes, there definitely was a line.  OMG OMG!!!  YAY!!!  Then, began my obsession with testing daily twice a day to verify that I was pregnant and that the line was getting darker.  The day before Cody was to head back to Iraq I had my blood drawn and at 12DPO my HCG level was 124 (which was a great number).  So, I felt a little relief, of course until my next levels were drawn..... 

Breaking out my honkey tonk ways

Originally posted:  May 7, 2008

The beginning:  Lived in a small honkey tonk farm in Illinois with my parents and three siblings for 21 years, before I took my life elsewhere.  Now, when I say farm I mean acres upon acres of corn and soybean fields surrounding the house, a gravel driveway that my dad would have to plow with a tractor in the winter, and cows that would kindly come just feet away from our front door when they escaped.  Cody and I met when I was 15 and him 17.  We spent 3 years apart with me being 2 hours away for college and then he joined the army in 2003 (this is so not how I planned my life).  After getting married twice, yes you read that right, (first at the JOP March 19, 2004 and then the big Catholic Church Wedding July 9, 2004) I headed to Fort Stewart, GA to begin our married life and what a journey the last 4 years have been. 
Get to GA and I enroll in a college I've never heard of to finish my middle school teaching degree (yes, I know I'm nuts). 
Since we so luckily got stationed at the most rapidly deploying military base, Cody was off to sandland just 10 months after getting married, and only 6 months after I moved down here. 
While Cody was home on R&R we decided to try for a baby, and figured there would be no problems.  July 4th, I awoke him with the news that we were indeed pregnant.  That was easy, or so I thought.  Unfortunately, we lost the baby around 9 weeks. 
December 2005 came and Cody was finally home safely from his 11 month tour to Iraq.  We decided to try again for a baby, but without a period since the miscarriage things were not looking up for us.  After dealing with Tricare (military insurance) and horrible doctors we finally saw a specialist - in which I found out that I do not ovulate.  Just a week after my grandmother passed away, we got our first positive HPT, God truly has a sense of humor.  But, this time we did not immediately celebrate.  We got to see the little baby's heart beating strongly at 6 weeks--- and things were already looking up.  Around 20 weeks I finally graduated AASU with a middle school degree with endorsements in math and literture.  Oh how I loved being pregnant, but my body decided otherwise.  I was put on bedrest due to pre-e around 35 weeks (mind you it took those stupid docs at Winn (army hospital) several visits before someone actually did something.  First, it was "oh you are just swelling, keep your feet elevated and drink lots of water."  Then my bp was sky rocketing and it took my fat pregnant butt several visits to labor and delivery before someone finally took me serious.  Things did not get better, and I was induced at 38 weeks and after a crazy rollercoaster ride of a delivery Addyson Eva arrived April 11 at 4:36 pm (just 25 hours after being induced----boy is that a story to tell).  I am soooo hoping that Addyson does not continue on the same path she entered on. 
Just a few weeks later Cody was sent again to hell, but this time it is expected to be 15 months.  Not only did my husband just leave, but I just became a mom for the first time and now I was all alone.  I did not sign up for being a single mom, but that is what it has become.  After enjoying the summer off watching my daughter grow, it was time to head into my first full year of teaching.  I cannot even begin to explain all the emotions I was feeling as I was leaving Addyson for the first time. 
Press the fastforward button to December of 2007....
Cody is on his way home for R&R, but this time the army was so gracious (note the sarcasm) to allow the soldiers to be home for 20 days instead of the whopping 15 days that they got before.  Read the blog titled Infertility Rollercoaster to see what happened during R&R.  Cody left mid January 2008 to head back to Iraq and it is projected that he will come back from Iraq in June (unless I can find a way to get him home sooner --- wink wink).

Hmmmm...what just happened?

Originally posted:  May 7, 2008

I need to get completely caught up on my current pregnancy.  Last thing I wrote about was my first HCG level.  I had my HCG level drawn at 17 DPO (which was 5 days past my last HCG level ---reminder it was 124).  I went to get my blood drawn first thing in the morning, so I could find out what my levels sooner then later.  I attempted to keep myself busy by shopping around Savannah.  On the way home it was around 4pm and I hadn't heard a THING all day.  What the heck??  Do they not understand what happens to a newly pregnant lady with a loss under her belt?  So, being the obsessive woman I am...I called them.  The receptionist looked at the computer when I was giving her my info and said that the nurse would call me back.  I instantly feel my heart in my throat, thinking the absolute worse.  I didn't even care that the lady on the phone was a receptionist and not a nurse...I was thinking "Oh no, something's not right and she is having a nurse call me back because she doesn't want to be the one to tell me."  I met a friend at Chilis back in Hinesville with my heart still in my throat and obsessing as each minute ticks on my phone.  Finally my phone rings and I shoot out of my chair and head outside to hear better.  Hurry up lady, just tell me already!!!!  Everything looks good your HCG is 926, and she bumped up my appointment so I didn't have to wait forever to first be seen (see, someone does look out for me sometimes). 
Get the news and go back to dinner and start thinking, hmm...with my calculations my HCG level should be around 600.  So, I definitely know the level is great, but is there possibly two in there?  Nah, I would feel differently if there were two.  Right???  Well, I call my other obsessive pregnancy buddy where she tells me she thinks there may be two or it could possibly be another girl.  Yeah, yeah....but I'm still thinking something HAS to be different by now if there were two babies in there.  I should be praying to the porcelin God by now because they would be draining the life out of me.  So, for the next few weeks I start obsessing until my first appointment. 
I go to my U/S and see the sac and the little bean and instantly ask if there is a heartbeat...yep everything looks great.  Ok, my heart starts beating at a normal rate again.  I head over to see the doctor and all my thoughts must be plastered on my forehead, because the doctor tells me that I can come back in 3 weeks to have another U/S just to make myself feel better.  I'm in love!  Finally, a real doctor who has some compassion for women who have previously lost.  Well, for anyone that truly understands how hard it is to get pregnant, then you know exactly what I mean when I say that even though I felt relief from seeing a heartbeat, it didn't last for long.  Until I get to the next appointment I am on the edge of my seat thinking about any and everything.  Yes, I know that it is not good to stress, but unless you have been in these shoes before zip it I don't want to hear it. 
10 weeks come along (that was last Thursday) and I get another U/S.  The U/S tech asked me why I was there so soon (are you spotting?  are your levels low?)  I felt my face get red, because why should I have to explain why seeing the baby again so soon helps me get through another day?  In goes the infamous wand and she moves it around and says, "hmm."  Hmm what?!  What is wrong???  Freakin spit it out!!!  She moves the wand around so I can get a better view and says, "Well, I'm glad you had another ultrasound, because there are two."  TWO?!!!  How did that happen?  There was only one three weeks ago, how the heck are there two now?!!  In an instant my life changed drastically. 
I some how managed to get dressed and walk to the doctor's office to talk about what just happened, because I was still in shock.  Another dose of reality was thrown at me when I stepped on the scale...8 pounds in 3 weeks...what the hell???  How did that happen...seriously I wasn't overeating or eating junk food non stop.  Ok, so yeah there really has to be two babies in there.  First thing the doctor does when he comes in is give me a hug and ask me if I'm going to be ok.  Well, I have no choice really...and right now I'm in still shock.  So many questions were running through my head that I just didn't have any answers for, nor will I for a while.  Oh crap...what is Cody going to think?  When and how will he find out?  I decided to send him an email with the U/S pics and hoped he would see them before he called the next day.  I didn't even explain anything in the email just the following: "Here are the U/S pics from today.  Love and miss you."  Late afternoon the next day I get a LONG email from Cody explaining his more then shocked reaction, but he couldn't be more excited.  Phew....we can handle this.  Yes, we will have 3 kids under 2, but hey they should be buddies and we may be able to get our family finished sooner then later, since we did have a later start then we had planned. 
Be prepared for many future Thing 1 and Thing 2 appointment is March 27, so until then the anxiety will be here.  

Welcome home deployment # 3

Originally posted: 10/13/2010
Friday later afternoon we were all finally reunited, after days of Cody being stuck on a broken plane, yes, broken.
Torture (finally figured out he was the very first one all the way to the right)


Bursting with happiness


Numb - leaving for deployment number three

Originally posted 10/27/2009
Yesterday felt like we were the sand granules dripping one by one into the time capsule.  We longed for the day to be long, and that it was, indeed.  The anticipation for the evening was nearly unbearable.  I sobbed uncontrollably many times yesterday.  My heart ached for my children, their blinded minds, unaware of what was about to happen.  Cody put the babies to bed all by himself, losing a part of him as he closed that door behind him.  And then we waited some more. 
We snuggled in bed with Addyson enjoying the time we still had together. 
He went back into the babies' room and picked up their sleeping bodies to clutch, remembering the smell of their skin, the feel of their hair, the sound of their breaths. 
The drive was solemn. 
Cody, "I have nothing left.  I feel completely empty." 
Once we arrived at Cody's work, Addyson yelled, "Daddy stay, stay daddy, stay!"  He unloaded his bags, took Addyson to the potty (of course she had to go, right?), came back down where the three of us hung on to the last few moments together. 
Addyson was extremely tired and demanding that she go to the car to her seat.  We explained to her that daddy had to go to work for a long, long time, which she repeated and gave her daddy several hugs, kisses, and no nes. 
Cody and I hung onto each for what seemed to be too short of a time.  And then he walked away, drying his tears becoming the soldier he needs to be.  As I closed the door to the van, Addyson said, "Mommy cry.  Mommy daddy hug."
Time is an evil beast, never turning out the way you want it to.
And now, I am numb.  I cannot possibly cry any more than I have this past weekend.  I have felt dehydrated for days from all the uncontrollable sobs.
As I woke up this morning, I knew that it was time to function.  Get through each day, day by day, no more time for sadness or self wallowing, I must be, and that I will.

One of the worst days of my life

Originally posted 6/06/09
If you thought it was bad before with Addyson, it got much worse.

Recap of Thursday:

Said goodbye to our friends, lots and lots of tears and hugs.  Sad.  

11:00 put Kinsley and Eligh down for a nap, as they both didn't take a morning nap and were exhausted.  

12:30 Kinsley gets up, I feed her lunch and let her play.  

1:15 Put Kinsley down for a nap

2:00/2:15 (little hazy here) Kinsley is awake.  I check on Eligh since he had still been sleeping since 11.  Eligh is slumped over totally out of it.  I pick him up and he is shaking.  He is burning up, take temp 103.  Give him Tylenol and sit him on the floor so I can get Kinsley and a now screaming/crying Addyson.  Eligh plops over.  Get the girls, look at Eligh and realize that he can't lift his entire right side of his body.  Pick him up, call my sister who tells me to call an ambulance.  

Call 911, call Cody, call nanny, and just hold Eligh.  Kinsley is in great spirits, Addyson is miserable and doesn't want anything.

Cody and the nanny both get here before the ambulance.  Ridiculous.  

We take him to the ER and come to the conclusion that he had a febrile seizure.  He regained all use of his right side, by the time we got there.  90 year old doctor comes in and looks at his throat, ears, and listens to his lungs, and said he sounds clear.  Run some blood and everything comes back fine, must just be teething.  

I explained to the doctor that children are NOT to get a fever this high with teething, that his older sister has an bacterial infection in her throat, blah, blah, blah.  
They send us home and tell us to keep giving him Tylenol and Motrin. 

Long night, with both Addyson and Eligh fighting fevers.  

I call the kids' doctor in the morning and schedule an appointment.  I take Eligh in, and he is still miserable.  He ate a few ounces since 11, and has been sleeping ever since.  He just laid on me falling asleep.  The doctor checks him out, and shows me his mouth and throat (there are ulcers).  

He asked if the ER doctor even looked at his throat, I said yes, and he said it was teething.  The doctor said that anything over 101 is not related to teething.  We are in agreeance and he seems just as irritated as I am with the ER doctor.  Basically, Eligh had to suffer longer then he should have, because the old guy at the ER probably couldn't see a damn thing.  

He has a coxsackievirus which can lead to hand, foot, mouth disease.  We have some meds to give him 4 times a day to help soothe his throat and mouth.  Kinsley is getting treated along with Eligh, as the two of them chew on everything, including each other.  

As I was driving home, I kept thinking that I wasn't cleaning enough.  I needed to bleach everything sooner then I normally would have.  Then, all of a sudden a light bulb went off in my head, they don't go to daycare, but we did go to toddler time on Monday.  I let all the kids play and run around for a good hour.  This is why we never do ANYTHING!  It always bites us in the ass.  Always.  

My poor babies have the weakest immune system and seem to get everything that there is to get.  

Last night Eligh was up a lot just screaming in pain and unfortunately there was nothing we could do for him to make him happy.  It was heartbreaking.  He is drooling non stop, and not really wanting to eat or drink anything (even worse then his normal anti drinking strike he seems to be on).  He has been a lot more playful this morning, no fever as of 11pm last night.  Addyson hasn't had a fever since 2:00 and is finally taking most of her new medicine (as she wouldn't take the other stuff).  Kinsley has a low grade fever, but is also getting her top left front tooth, but is in a great mood.   

As far as mommy is concerned, I'm beat.  I can handle not sleeping, but I can't handle feeling so helpless and responsible for this whole mess.  I'm the one that insisted on taking the kids to the playground, I should have checked on Eligh sooner, maybe the whole seizure would have been avoided. I just keep picturing his lifeless body, him staring into space, him shaking, he couldn't lift his head at all.  It was a living nightmare...and it can't escape my head.  I can't shake it away.  It just keeps replaying over and over in my head like a scratched dvd. 

The marriage truth of twins plus one

We're in a clouded maze trying to find our way back to each other.  Who we used to be has died and now we have to find out who we are today and who we'll be tomorrow.  It is going to take a long time to get it all figured out, but I know it will happen some day.  Our bond as one has been shattered and needs to be rebuilt.  When you literally do not have any alone time together, you lose the us and become two separate people living two completely different lives.  I pray that through it all we will become stronger then before, that's the only way I'm holding on. 
No one can prepare you for life after children, and I feel like we are experiencing it all for the first time.  I know that it is due to Cody not being here to help raise Addyson until recently.  Not only is he learning how to raise an infant, but two at a time is a struggle.  From the moment he walks into the door after work, it is pure chaos until the wee hours of the night. 
5:30pm - eat dinner while babies are typically being fed (propped up)
6 - 6:30 pm - bath for Addyson (still feeding babies)
7pm - story and bed for Addyson
7:15 - 9:30 pm : bath (every other night) for the babies, give them their meds, put on pjs and work on getting them to bed. 
9 - 10 pm :Kinsley goes to bed
8 - 11 pm or later : tend to a fussy, never wanting to go to sleep Eligh. 
Once Eligh goes to sleep we both pass out, minimal talking is done at this point because of pure exhaustion. 
Between 2 and 4 am Kinsley wakes up for a feeding then heads back to bed until 7 am. 
Eligh sleeps until 4/5 am eats and heads back to bed until 7:30/8am.
As you can see there is no more us time.  When we are together we are usually discussing what to try next with Eligh and that's it. 
It's an adjustment to go from having nightly time when it was just Addyson to having no time whatsoever.  I know that when that miraculous night comes where the babies both sleep through the night then we can get back to us time and work on recreating an us.  Until then we are at a standstill watching from the sidelines anticipating each other's next move.

From three to five

This is it!  The LAST weekend we will spend as a family of three.  Next weekend we'll be bringing home two new babies and extending our family to five.  Some of us tend to jump in numbers rather then slowly grow one by one.  Just 5 more days of putting just Addyson to bed, 5 more dinners just the three of us, only 5 more nights that Cody and I will have a few hours of relaxation without any interruptions, just 4 more mornings to wake up between 7 and 8, just 5 more days of dealing with congestion, 5 more days of pelvic pain and pressure, 5 more days of heartburn hell, just 5 more days until our life is going to be forever changed....just 5, 5 more days. 
I know that I can make it through these next few days, and I'm holding these babies in by resting as much as possible.  I can't guarantee that Addyson will help matters, as she jumps on my belly almost all day.  I think someone is anxious to meet her siblings (or maybe she just wants her mommy to be "normal" again).  Of course I will have to heal and will be in pain, but that's what drugs arefor (to help minimize that pain).  I know that there is an end to it all and I will be able to see my feet again, and that my stomach will be much smaller (it won't look pretty, but it will be smaller).  Eventually I will be able to walk comfortably again, I'll be able to run through the house after Addyson, play in Addyson's toy room, and be able to move from sitting to standing at a much faster rate. 
I cannot, though, for the life of me actually picture the babies here.  I cannot see them in my arms getting hugs and kisses, or even picture them at home with us.  I went through the same disbelief with Addyson.  I just can't picture that we will be so lucky to actually be blessed with two more children, and thus cannot see them in our lives.  I can, though, picture not being pregnant any more.  Odd, I know.  But, nothing about me is truly "normal."
So, as the day comes to a close and Cody is home for the weekend we will be trying to cherish these last few days as a family of three soon to grow to 5in just a matter of 5 days.  I will spend most of the weekend grading papers and writing up progress reports, but I'm going to try and take mental snap shots of the time we share together this weekend, for it will be our last as just us 3.  Instead of focusing on all the pain Addyson is causing me as she jumps on my belly, I will focus on how she is just trying to get close to me and give me lots of love.  Instead of focusing on the pain I feel when I walk any where, I will just grit my teeth and put on a smile and remember these moments.  No pain no gain, right?
And I would like to add....Ike you better listen:  "Stay far, far away!  You will NOT ruin my delivery!  I have done everything I can to hold off on having these babies until Wednesday, and I will NOT allow you to take that away from me.  Damnit...I think I deserve to have the babies at the hospital I have chosen with the doctor I am comfortable with.  I repeat:  STAY THE HELL AWAY!!!"

Will I be enough?

This evening we received the third and last box from my mom.  One box contained clothes for Addyson, since she is quickly outgrowing her 18 month clothing, and the other two boxes we received today contained clothes for the twins, one box weighed 19 pounds, so you can imagine the amount of clothing the twins received.  I will have to save some of the outfits for show and tell, because they are too cute not to share.   Do I appreciate everything we received?  Of course...but it's just not that simple with my mom.  Receiving gifts from my mom is her way of showing she cares.  I did not grow up feeling or seeing love from my mom.  I truly believe that my mom despises her children and her entire life.  She never seems happy, and this is how she has always been.  There are many different instances where she has said some extremely hateful things about her children and life.  Many of those times I have been beaten down by her comments and have had to reevaluate my self worth.  I was left to sort out all of the details and figure out why I deserved to be treated as if I were the scum around the bottom of the toilet.  Why was I not worthy of love?  What had I done wrong in my life to make my own mother truly hate me?  It has taken me over 22 years to figure out that I was better then my mother and did not deserve her manipulation.  I had to learn to stand up for myself and remember who I was as a person.  I promised myself that I would NOT allow my own mother to take away my identity. 
Those years of damage have effected me both negatively and positively.  I feel that I grab on to Cody sometimes too much.  He has been there for me during these many ups and downs with my mom and has always been there to pick me back up.  He is the one that has made me believe in myself and has been so patient with me.  He has learned to just ignore my pessimistic attitude and low self esteem and instead has tried to to guide me towards appreciating and accepting who I am. 
I think I finally stepped up to the plate and decided to not stop swinging when Addyson entered the world.  I promised her and myself that I would not be the same person my mother was to me.  I will always love her and let her know that.  She will never have to question her own self worth or have to pick up the pieces of her life because of the way I have treated her.  Instead she will know and feel what love truly is.  To all of my future children, I promise to show them unconditional love.  They will never have to question or figure out what love is all about, because they will always have my love.  It's as simple as telling my children "I love them" several times a day, giving them hugs, and kisses daily as well.  I did not have that with my mom and feel that I probably overdue it with Cody and Addyson.  I just don't want anyone to ever question my love for them, and feel that I have to show it and prove it them over and over again. 
Does anyone else ever feel that they do the complete opposite as their mother or parents in general?  Are you afraid to make the same mistakes they made?  I know I can't be the only one who had anything but a normal relationship with their mother growing up.

Fourth of July - what could have been

I could easily go nuts right now with the comments made today by my oh-so loving mother, but I'm holding back.  I only threw the phone across the couch and retreated inward to avoid the negativity.  Instead of boring you with this rage, I will reflect on a more important issue. 
Instead of explaining the importance of the 4th of July in general, and my ever growing sense of pride for my husband, I will explain why the 4th means even more to us. 
July 4th, 2005 Cody was home for R&R and we had made our first attempt at trying to conceive on our own.  Little did we know that it would be easytrying to get pregnant.  We had a great weekend planned up in Atlanta for the 4th.  We had tickets to a Braves vs Cubs game (Cody loves the Cubs, and I despise them, but since I'm such a great wife I not only bought him tickets to the game, but also a jersey as well).  That morning I decided to take a pregnancy test, since I was only a couple days shy of starting my period.  Holy shit it was positive!  I freaked, he freaked, we freaked.  It worked on the first try!  No WAY!  Ok, ok, breathe.  Considering we were young, naive, and blind to what our future would hold we blurted the news to any and every one.  We were on cloud nine, and the 4th of July could not have been any more perfect, as I felt Cody rub my tummy as we watched the fireworks that evening at Turner Field.  Just a couple days later Cody headed back to Iraq to finish up his tour, and it was hard, harder then I could imagine having to say goodbye again after we had just found out the most exciting news in the world. 
How quickly our conversations changed to discuss baby names, how stupid were we?  Seriously!  Just before August started, the most horrifying event happened to me.  I started off with some light spotting and called some close friends who said it was probably nothing, but to call just in case.  I called the hospital and they said if it continues to go to the ER.  My mom was visiting me and had already started buying a couple baby outfits, blankets, and a couple maternity shirts for me to wear.  That evening we made the trip to the ER, which we waited for hours to see someone and when we finally did I had an U/S where the tech didn't sound like things were very promising when she asked me oh, how far along are you?  Hmm...the baby isn't measuring that far, but I can't say anything I'm just a tech.  Then why the fuck did you say anything at all bitch?  I called the next day to schedule a follow up appointment and actually saw someone in OBGYN, alone.  I didn't want my mother there, I didn't want anyone except my baby.  The doctor did an exam and at that moment I was miscarrying and I will not share the rest of the details of that day, because they are still too traumatic to live through again (even 3 years later). 
I spent the next 5 months seeing the doctor and not get any answers as to why I wasn't getting a period.  When Cody arrived home safely in December we continued our attempt to get pregnant, but little did we know it wasn't as simple as just trying.  From July to April I had 2 periods that were induced with progesterone and had, had enough.  After fighting with the doctor and finally getting someone to listen to me from patient affairs I was referred out to an RE.  We started the process in May and found out that the pill had convinced my body that I was "normal," and that it was a miracle I even got pregnant in the first place.  That was hard to swallow.  We attempted our first cycle on Clomid and were unsuccessful.  I can recall that elevator ride as if it were yesterday.  As soon as those doors shut I lost it, and Cody (being the strong one in the relationship) promised me that everything would work out. 
That August we got our positive pregnancy test and April 11, 2007 we brought that little miracle baby into the world. 
Not only will I my heart be booming with pride tomorrow for Cody's unmistakable self service to this country, but I will be remembering where we were 3 years ago.  It's a day that I will never forget, and even though it was short lived, and we were faced with so many unknowns, I can't help but wonder if these twins were give to us to remember, and never forget our first. 


First, I want to say thank you to everyone sending me the positive thoughts and prayers.  I had so much emotion and anticipation built up inside of me and by the time I got home and talked to my family, I crashed.  I had fallen from my emotional high and did not have the energy to even begin to think to write a blog.  So, I'm sorry for making so many of you wait for the news.
We (me and two of my friends) got to the appointment a little early and I instantly felt like I was going to throw up from nerves.  Cody called right after I sat down and I told him that it wasn't time yet and for him to call in about 10/15 minutes.  I knew that the tech would have to do all the measurements before we did anything it would be a while.  Soon after I was called back.  Gulp, moment of truth was awaiting me.  The tech gets me all ready, with some surprisingly warm, almost hot, gel on my belly and we see the babies moving around.  Whew, there are still two babies.  Alright, let me see that both their hearts are beating, check.  The tech started with baby A (on my left side).  Heather was manning the phone and I asked the tech if I could talk to my husband when he called, and she had no problem with it what so ever.  When the tech did the heartbeat Cody could hear it loud and clear and he said, "I miss hearing that."  He was there for all but maybe one or two of my appointments with Addyson and he always loved hearing the heartbeat.  She did all the measurements and we were ready to take a peak at what sex baby a was.  Legs were apart and this is what we saw:
Heather passed the phone so I could tell Cody that baby a was a girl.  His response, "Are you sure?"  LOL!  Yes, definitely a girl.  He was excited, just to actually know.  Then, came the growth of baby a.  She weighed in at 14ozs (391 grams) and was one week ahead.  PERFECT!  Ahead is great, especially with twins.  Relief set more baby to go.
Baby B was pretty stubborn.  Kept doing flip flops and refused to do a profile shot.  The tech had the hardest time getting a good picture of the heart, just because of all the movement.  I am explaining to Cody everything that is going on so that he can feel as if he was actually there with me.  Tech was able to get a good shot of the legs and this is what we all saw:
Baby B is a boy!  Very obvious!  LOL!  Cody was soooooo excited.  One of each, perfect, he said.  We talked for a little while longer and he was dying to call his dad to share the news.  Of course I let him go, because I knew I still had another appointment to go and he was about to jump out of his skin with excitement.  Baby B is also 14ozs (400grams) and also measuring a week ahead.
So the babies are 9 grams apart and have strong heartbeats in the high to mid 140's.  We couldn't be happier.
Here are a couple more pics of the babies:
Baby_a_19_weeks_5_days_a Baby_b_19_weeks_5_days
The appointment couldn't have gone smoother, except of course if Cody was there, but with my friends there it made it mean the world to me and I was able to truly enjoy it all.
I have my next appointment in 4 weeks for another U/S, which will be cool.
I would write more, but I'm still coming off that emotional high and am feeling beyond exhausted.

Welcome home - 2008

Here are some pics of Cody getting in late Sunday evening.  Addyson had, had a long day and was beyond exhausted by the time Cody got in.









Comments I hear weekly:  "You are pregnant again?!"  "Wow that was fast!"  "Oops."  "You'll have your hands full."  "You must be extremely fertile."
I want to scream!!!!  It is so easy for all of us to simply judge a book by it's cover
I'm hating it lately, and I think it all really got to me this afternoon.  My sister called and she was explaining to me her pregnancy test and still not getting her period.  Friday will be 6 weeks since her m/c and the doctor told her that she should get her period within 4-6 weeks.  She so badly wants to be pregnant again, and is stressing like we all have done or do.  I'm telling her to go get more tests and to test in a couple days in the morning and look at the test within the stated time limit, and not any later.  The following comment is what really hit me hard in my throat, "Why buy any more tests?  I'm sick of being disappointed.  If I'm not pregnant then let me get my period."  I understand the whole wanting to just know and to not be in limbo any more, been there done that many times.  But, what really bothered me was the part where she explains getting disappointed (two different times now within the past 6 weeks). 
I felt forgotten at that moment.  The year long battle to finally get some answers was squashed, as if it never existed.  Instead I am fertile, because I have 1 child and am expecting 2 more.  Is it really that easy for others to forget or ignore the possibility that it isn't easy to get pregnant once children have entered the picture.  You think you have been disappointed??  You are talking to the wrong woman!  But, I just hold it in, knowing that she has forgotten, and is indeed disappointed.  Don't get me wrong, I did want to go off on a little tangent, but I realized that it would not do any good...and what would it help me do?  I don't want pity...I'm better then that.  I just took a gulp and kept it all in. 
How many of us feel that our own struggle with IF is forgotten or ignored (especially by those we hold close to our hearts)?
I'm not asking for people to dwell on it, but I don't want it all to be forgotten.  For me, I will and can NOT forget the struggle.  

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers - Exploring

  • This week was full of exploring.  We visited three different play centers for the kids, yes, three. 
  • We went to one jump place that irritated me all the way down to my toes.  There were way too many big, BIG kids shoving, trampling, and pushing my three much smaller children along with others out of their way. 
  • Where were the parents?  Sitting on phones, iPads, you name it.  How about you put the device down for an hour to actually be engaged with your children and keep them under control!
  • There were several kids climbing on the top of the jumpies - ON THE TOP! 
  • We left when Addy got a fat lip and punched in the ear.  We all had, had enough.
  • Going to any play center is only enjoyable during the week.  We were the only people at two of the places for a couple hours. 
  • I really, really want a Color Nook - super bad. 
  • Addyson is still obsessed with wearing her hair in two braids, and I have now mastered putting it in two french braids.  It looks so damn cute. 
  • My children LOVE popcorn and just ate the last bag. 
  • Eligh has now started screeching and telling daddy and mommy no.  I do not like this new "tough boy" behavior he is channeling. 
  • Daddy told Eligh he was being sassy, and Eligh responded, "I am NOT being assy."
Come join in this week's leftovers by visiting our host, Danifred.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Where oh where

Took a few days off from blogging, if you happened to notice.  We have been exploring the area a little more and trying to find affordable kid's activities while we have the ability to go during the week while Cody is on leave.  We have done the following:



Visited a Incredible Pizza - and there were maybe 2 other kids playing.  Great deal on food for all, and loads of games for super cheap.  Definitely will be going back there, but probably only during the week. 

Happiness for all

Monday, January 17, 2011

Little or big?

Get your dirty little minds out of the gutter.  I do NOT want to know about ahem.  Slap yourself in the face for thinking those dirty thoughts, and get back to what "normal" people think, ok?

A recent conversation with Addy:
Addy:  Mommy, I'm a big girl.
Mommy:  Yes, you are.  But, I want you to be a little girl still. 
Addy:  (whining) But, I WANT to be a big girl. 
Mommy:  Ok, Addy you are a big girl.  Mommy, just wants you all to stay little forever so you can stay home with me every day.
Addy:  I want to stay home with you. 
Daddy:  Addy, you are going to be going to school soon.
Addy:  (scared) I don't want to go to school, I want to stay home with you, mommy. 
Daddy:  But, you'll have to go to school some day.
Addy:  (tears running down her face)
Mommy:  Addy, don't worry.  You don't have to go to school for a long time.
Addy:  Mommy, can I be little?  I don't want to be a big girl any more. 

Mommy wins - Addy is staying little forever.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Cue boo-hooing in 5,4,3,2,1

Yesterday after naps we decided to take a drive to Target.  We needed some type of shelving system in the bathroom/laundry room and I could NOT find anything at Walmart that was going to work.  We thought it was about 45 mins away, but we were soooo wrong!  It was an hour drive on hilly, curvy county roads.  Kinsley spent over half the drive crying, "My timmy hurts, my timmy hurts." (aka know as her tummy).  She is the child we give Benadryl/Dramine to during long road trips, as she has been known to vomit all over the place.  Thankfully, we arrived without any vomit filled children and found a solution to our lack of a linen closet.  We had some dinner and decided to head back, as we had to drive another hour back in the dark - which was terrifying for me.  Hills and curvy roads with woods surrounding us kept me on the edge of my seat searching for deer and frogs crossing the road (yes, there were and are signs about frogs crossing the road).  Sorry, but if I see a frog in the road, I'm probably not going to stop - call me cruel. 

Today I spent some time searching some other key locations that I tend to visit, especially around birthdays and other holidays, and they are even further away - some even 2 whole hours.!

The town we are living in is busier than where we lived in GA and has plenty of places close by, but these other stores and children's activities are much, much further away.  There are two other towns we need to explore that are supposed to be between 20 and 40 mins away and hopefully there are some other things to do on the base, because I'm not all about traveling an hour plus away that frequently.  Looks like I will have to do holiday shopping mostly online for the next couple of years. 

How far away are your favorite stores/activity places?  How far are you willing to travel for shopping or fun?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I neeeeeed....

It is a constant overflow of orders, requests, whines, arguments, begging, fitting, and crying pretty much daily. 

An excerpt from a "typical" day. 

"Mommy, I NEEEED:"
  • Pancakes
  • French toast sticks
  • Bananas
  • My cup
  • Thomas the Train
  • Apple juice
  • Special water
  • My blankie
  • Boogers
  • Apple juice
  • Sticker book
  • Poop
  • Hug
  • My cup
  • Dibs
  • Boogers
  • Thomas the Train
  • Strawberries
  • Apple juice
  • Choo-choo trains
  • Poop
  • Boogers
  • Thomas the Train
  • Chipmunks, the new one
  • Story
  • My cup
  • No-neeeees
  • Kiss
  • Hug
  • My blankie
They think if they ask me a million times a day for something that I will eventually cave in.  Oh, they are soooo wrong.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers - bye bye suitcase living

  • Eligh asks to do everything.  "Mommy, can I drink my cup?"  "Mommy, can I sit in my racecar chair?"  "Mommy, can I get my blanket?"  He is full of manners, but needs to to learn that he doesn't have to ask me to do every little thing. 
  • Kinsley was trying to say a word (and now I can't think of what it was) but it sounded like "fuckin."  She kept saying it repeatedly, and I was arguing with her that it wasn't "fucking," but "xyz." 
  • Addyson has wanted two braids in her hair every day, and would actually like "a lot more, like Rapunzel." 
  • Eligh is becoming more of a "boy" these days.  He yells, screams, growls, pushes, and hits back.  He used to just roll over and cry until I intervened, but not any more.  He is definitely much more aggressive than he has ever been. 
  • The husband is on his way to our "home" to finally stop living in suitcases at weeks at a time.  To say I'm ready for him, would be a HUGE understatement.  This mommy is checking out and going to spend some days doing what she wants. 
  • Addy completely embarrassed me this week.  I attempted to put her on the wait list for dance class on post.  All three kids were with me, and they were playing and fighting over the toys in the waiting area, while I waited around for about an hour to get a packet that I would need to fill out and return at a later date.  When I told the kids it was time to leave, Addyson had a big ole meltdown, yelling, "I miss my daddy!!!  I want my daddy!!  I want my daddy to come home!!"  With a handful of soldiers in the waiting area, it didn't help the situation at all. 
  • I have not checked the mail but once this week.  In order to get my mail I have to drive up to our mailbox that is at the end of our road.  If it wasn't freezing and a HUGE steep hill, I would take the kids.  But, getting them up the driveway hill is hard enough, as they tend to stumble. 
As always check out the fabulous host, Danifred, to see what others are bringing to the table.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

7 facts

In order to accept this award, I must do the following:
A.  Thank the person who awarded to me - Staying Above the Water, who has been reading and commenting on my blog and I have been too damn lazy to add to my own reader.  But, as of this week, you are added and I will be reading and commenting more regularly.
B.  Share 7 things about myself

  1. When at home or a friend's home, I only drink out of plastic cups.  The cheap ones - the four for a $1 deals.  Yeah, those.  I have 4 that I rotate between.  This cup must also have water in it at all times.  
  2. I rotate everything in this house from clothes, kids' utensils, kids' plates, kids' cups, towels, etc, etc.  The freshly washed stuff is put at the bottom pushing the older stuff to the front.  My parents learned to leave the kids' stuff out so I could rotate it appropriately.  Yes, I will know if they have not been rotated properly, and then I will HAVE to fix it. 
  3. Must have chapstick with me at all times.  The other day I couldn't find mine and actually used some of Addy's.  
  4. I listen to nearly all music from country to rap.  There was a point in my life (waaaaay long time ago) that I listened to hard core rap more than any other type of music, yes, I grew up on a farm in a small town and was blaring Master P from my Taurus.  
  5. All the main living areas of the house must be cleaned before heading to bed every single night.  My bedroom, though, seems to be the last place I want to clean.  The bed is typically made, but there is clutter (mostly Cody's military crap) quite frequently.  I would really like to work on keeping our bedroom clean and organized, you know once we finally get everything put in the right places. 
  6. I tell my children they are beautiful, cute, adorable, amazing, princesses, loved a bazillion times a day, but do not take compliments from others well, simply because I don't believe what is being said.  Self-confidence = zero
  7. I have icecream for a bedtime snack 90% of the time.
C.  Pass along our "stylishness" by awarding the award to 15 other bloggers, and then let them know I did it!

Since I think all of you are stylish and fabulous - here is your award.  Feel free to participate, or not, but know I adore you all. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Craft explosions

A friend of mine recently asked me what I do with the kids all day, as far as entertainment (besides feeding, cleaning up after them, barking orders, wiping booties, filling cups, etc).  Maybe, just maybe, some of you may be interested as well.  This post would be a million times better if I could actually upload some pictures for my visual learners, but I'm waiting on a cord to be shipped for me to do so.  You know, with that fancy camera I got for Christmas and recently took out of the box.

The house we are renting lacks closet space, but I made do with using a storage closet organizer I had previously stored my books in, and used all 6 shelves to hold the kids' activities (you know the ones they CANNOT use without adult supervision).  This cabinet is full and exploding with kids' activities. 

Enough with the rambling, and a list of the activities:
  • Sticker cling books - these are great.  The stickers are meant to be used over and over again, which the girls, more so than Eligh, use all day long. 
  • Coloring books - crayons only.  Markers = messy fingers and possibly anything else in their reach
  • ColorWonders - I have a HUGE bag full of markers, and a small pile of books that haven't been completely colored from front to back.  I wish they would make more books that you can buy without the markers.
  • Puzzles - from basic wood ones that hold 5+ pieces to 3 ft floor puzzles.  Floor puzzles also make for a great stage for dancing (at least this is what Addyson thinks).
  • Games - Mr. Mouth, Gone Fishing, Uno Moo, Pretty Pretty Princess, EleFun (most are played with mommy, daddy, and Addy - Eligh and Kinsley just don't have the patience or skills to handle some of these yet)
  • Play - doh - probably the kids' favorite, but not mine.  Eligh wants everyone to do everything for him and since his daddy and grandpa made him trains, cars, and planes he expects this all of the time.  This mommy is not going to do it.
  • Magnetic books - these come in a carrying case and many different characters.  I love anything that has it's own storage. 
  • Dress up - even Eligh has a trunk with a couple outfits
  • Beads to make jewelry - I like the really big ones that snap together.  Grandma bought Addy a kit that you put on a plastic stencil and iron afterwards - that thing is staying on the very top shelf out of sight
  • At night, when Addyson gets her one-on-one time, we sometimes do little pre-school books.  I found two recently that use erasable markers
I am not brave or willing, though, to do the following activities:
  • Painting
  • Anything involving scissors
  • Glitter - we have enough glitter floating around the house from the girls' dress up clothes

What are some of your kids' favorite activities (besides yelling, fighting, whining, pushing, and shoving)? 

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


1.  The monkeys have said the following:
     A.  Oh my gosh
     B.  Jeeeeezuss
     C.  What the heck?
     D.  All of the above
     E.  A and C

2.  And....

     A.  1, 2, are going to go to your room!
     B.  You make me sad
     C.  Leave me awone
     D.  God damnit
     E.  All of the above

The answers are:  and E.  I'm blaming my husband and the move for "Jeeeezus" and "God damnit."  He does not do well with moving and/or stressful situations and is still learning to watch his language around the monkeys.  The movie Toy Story 3 is to blame for "What the Heck?"  (I know the exact scene it occurs), and I'll take blame for the other ones.  See, I'm not always to blame for the things these monkeys say.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Opposite day - a letter to Kinsley

For months upon months, dearest Kinsley, you have pushed every single button driving me batty.  You have done everything I told you NOT do.  You have put your fingers in your ears and ignored nearly everything I have asked you to do or to stop doing.  I declare today to be opposite day.
Please do the following:

  • Tell your brother and sister they are a bad girl or boy
  • Continue to act like a vampire
  • Shut all of the doors
  • Steal your siblings' toys, then run and laugh at them for crying
  • Take 20 books off of your bookshelf and stash them in your bed.  Refuse to clean them up. 
  • Yell, "Addyson!!!!" until your sister wakes up
  • Poke and touch your sister during meal times
If you follow all of these commands, I will reward you with a cookie, ok? 

Your crazy overworked Mommy

Saturday, January 8, 2011

A rare vent

It is extremely rare that you will read a blog complaining about my husband, but today it is needed. 

I am 100% envious/jealous of the following:
  • He only has to worry about one person, himself.
  • He can do whatever he wants whenever he wants, because again he only has to worry about himself.
  • If he chooses to sleep 12+ hours (even if he is sick/in pain) he can.
  • He has access to the gym whenever he chooses
  • It is always quiet
Yes, I'm bitter and I know he HAS to be away to finish up leaving GA for good.  I know he is working and doesn't even have access to internet or tv, but it does NOT change the fact that I am angry about it all.  I have NEVER had the chance/opportunity to be away from all responsibilities and only have to worry about myself. 

****Just to clarify:  He is not out partying or running all over the place, but he is alone and working on his time. 

Friday, January 7, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers 1/07/11

  • The stomach flu has come and gone through the house, and we are all now fighting runny noses and the twins are coughing quite a bit. 
  • I'm annoyed that it's been 11 days since Eligh started meds, and "should" be completely better.  But, last night I had to get up with him 3 different times because he was coughing non-stop.  I'm still giving him the cough meds, as that is as needed.  Isn't 11 days enough?!
  • I have written a post before complaining about grocery shopping with three small children, especially when I can't find a cart to fit all of them, but here we have carts that fit all three and the two times I have had to take all of them with me, there is an abundance of them.  This makes me simply happy. 
  • The kids all scream and laugh with joy when we drive to and from the house.  Hilly and curvy roads make my kids happy, but they make me nervous and I wish they would sometimes not be shouting as I try to maneuver around on some of these county roads.  Give and take, right?
  • A few colleges I've looked into for my masters are now calling to set up phone conferences to start the process.  I'm dragging my feet, because of a million reasons.  I want to do this, but am I ready? 
  • Eligh now shouts at me, "Don't you tell me what to do, MOMMY!  Don't you yell at me, MOMMY!" 
  • Yes, I'm yelling at him, because I want him to EAT!  His pants that fit enough in the waist are now falling down to his ankles and he comes waddling to me to fix them.  I think he is losing weight. 
  • More days than less, I'm finding I have zero patience left for Kinsley.  She pushes every single button and DOES NOT LISTEN!!!!!!!!!! 
  • I had a near anxiety attack this week, when Kinsley decided to close the bedroom and bathroom doors.  I went to go get something from the girls' room, and it was locked.  Well....the doors have those pinholes and I was not left with a fancy unlock thingamajig.  After many devices were tried, I was able to successfully unlock the door. 
As always, go check out our gracious host, Danifred, to see what others are bringing to the table.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Silver lining

With all the crap that has happened, there is a silver lining to this move.

I can purge, purge, purge!  I have 5+ totes/boxes that are going to be yard saled or given away.  The kids have not even touched all the crap toys they have been given, especially the overload that their grandparents supplied them with.  They have way too much stuff and are completely overwhelmed with it all.

In three months Addy will have another birthday and at this point, she is getting absolutely nothing.  She simply has too much stuff and doesn't need or possibly want anything else.

Ok, and one more thing, I have three kidlets sleeping in big beds and they have not tried escaping their beds what so ever.

Feeling overwhelmed with all the toys your children received?  I suggest moving.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

It just won't end

It has been more than a whirlwind here since Christmas.  Last Tuesday I took Eligh in for the beginnings of a cough, turned out to be sinusitis, tonsillitis, ear infections, and strep throat.  On that same day, Kinsley was throwing up.  My dad and Cody got the U-haul and loaded it up and the vehicles Tuesday.  Wednesday, Cody, my dad, and I drove down to Missouri to get things set up (as much as we could).  My mom kept the kids so they wouldn't try escaping.

Wednesday we get the beds set up and everything in the massive garage until we can get through it all.   After hooking up the washing machine, we see that it is leaking water, so that has to be fixed.  We go to bed with water backing up into our master bathtub.  Call Thursday morning and find it is sewer water backing up, which the rental agency came out and spent until mid afternoon replacing the water pump, which caused water to come through the garage, which required us to move all of the boxes and totes outside so it wouldn't get full of sewer water (yes, disgusting).  On this same day, Cody is throwing up with the flu, so not much of a help.

The kids and my mom get to the house around 4pm Thursday, and the kids' rooms were mostly put together, so it wasn't a horrible ordeal.

My parents leave Friday morning, and we spend the majority of our morning in the basement (toy room, master bedroom, bathroom) because of a tornado warning, that did touch down on the base and destroyed some homes, and is probably 5 - 10 minutes away.

Sunday, Addyson and I spend the day on the couch sleeping and or in the bathroom throwing up non-stop.

Monday - Cody leaves for GA to finish clearing.  I was still weak from being sick, didn't get crap done, because standing was hard enough, plus Addy is still throwing up for the majority of the day.  The washing machine cost over $200 to fix, so that was another slap in the face.

Today is Tuesday and we are alive and able to stand and really want all the bullshit to end.

So, once I can see the end of these boxes and have some more energy and some good luck, I'll be around more.  Shit just won't stay away from us at the moment, so my hands are tied.