Saturday, January 22, 2011

Hmmmm...what just happened?

Originally posted:  May 7, 2008

I need to get completely caught up on my current pregnancy.  Last thing I wrote about was my first HCG level.  I had my HCG level drawn at 17 DPO (which was 5 days past my last HCG level ---reminder it was 124).  I went to get my blood drawn first thing in the morning, so I could find out what my levels sooner then later.  I attempted to keep myself busy by shopping around Savannah.  On the way home it was around 4pm and I hadn't heard a THING all day.  What the heck??  Do they not understand what happens to a newly pregnant lady with a loss under her belt?  So, being the obsessive woman I am...I called them.  The receptionist looked at the computer when I was giving her my info and said that the nurse would call me back.  I instantly feel my heart in my throat, thinking the absolute worse.  I didn't even care that the lady on the phone was a receptionist and not a nurse...I was thinking "Oh no, something's not right and she is having a nurse call me back because she doesn't want to be the one to tell me."  I met a friend at Chilis back in Hinesville with my heart still in my throat and obsessing as each minute ticks on my phone.  Finally my phone rings and I shoot out of my chair and head outside to hear better.  Hurry up lady, just tell me already!!!!  Everything looks good your HCG is 926, and she bumped up my appointment so I didn't have to wait forever to first be seen (see, someone does look out for me sometimes). 
Get the news and go back to dinner and start thinking, hmm...with my calculations my HCG level should be around 600.  So, I definitely know the level is great, but is there possibly two in there?  Nah, I would feel differently if there were two.  Right???  Well, I call my other obsessive pregnancy buddy where she tells me she thinks there may be two or it could possibly be another girl.  Yeah, yeah....but I'm still thinking something HAS to be different by now if there were two babies in there.  I should be praying to the porcelin God by now because they would be draining the life out of me.  So, for the next few weeks I start obsessing until my first appointment. 
I go to my U/S and see the sac and the little bean and instantly ask if there is a heartbeat...yep everything looks great.  Ok, my heart starts beating at a normal rate again.  I head over to see the doctor and all my thoughts must be plastered on my forehead, because the doctor tells me that I can come back in 3 weeks to have another U/S just to make myself feel better.  I'm in love!  Finally, a real doctor who has some compassion for women who have previously lost.  Well, for anyone that truly understands how hard it is to get pregnant, then you know exactly what I mean when I say that even though I felt relief from seeing a heartbeat, it didn't last for long.  Until I get to the next appointment I am on the edge of my seat thinking about any and everything.  Yes, I know that it is not good to stress, but unless you have been in these shoes before zip it I don't want to hear it. 
10 weeks come along (that was last Thursday) and I get another U/S.  The U/S tech asked me why I was there so soon (are you spotting?  are your levels low?)  I felt my face get red, because why should I have to explain why seeing the baby again so soon helps me get through another day?  In goes the infamous wand and she moves it around and says, "hmm."  Hmm what?!  What is wrong???  Freakin spit it out!!!  She moves the wand around so I can get a better view and says, "Well, I'm glad you had another ultrasound, because there are two."  TWO?!!!  How did that happen?  There was only one three weeks ago, how the heck are there two now?!!  In an instant my life changed drastically. 
I some how managed to get dressed and walk to the doctor's office to talk about what just happened, because I was still in shock.  Another dose of reality was thrown at me when I stepped on the scale...8 pounds in 3 weeks...what the hell???  How did that happen...seriously I wasn't overeating or eating junk food non stop.  Ok, so yeah there really has to be two babies in there.  First thing the doctor does when he comes in is give me a hug and ask me if I'm going to be ok.  Well, I have no choice really...and right now I'm in still shock.  So many questions were running through my head that I just didn't have any answers for, nor will I for a while.  Oh crap...what is Cody going to think?  When and how will he find out?  I decided to send him an email with the U/S pics and hoped he would see them before he called the next day.  I didn't even explain anything in the email just the following: "Here are the U/S pics from today.  Love and miss you."  Late afternoon the next day I get a LONG email from Cody explaining his more then shocked reaction, but he couldn't be more excited.  Phew....we can handle this.  Yes, we will have 3 kids under 2, but hey they should be buddies and we may be able to get our family finished sooner then later, since we did have a later start then we had planned. 
Be prepared for many future Thing 1 and Thing 2 appointment is March 27, so until then the anxiety will be here.  

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