Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Distraction from the packing....my journey one year later

What I shared with the amazing fitness group I teach:
This is pushing me waaaaaayyyy past my comfort zone, but I have to share in hopes to give someone else the push to start or continue their journey.  Cannot believe it has been a year since I started my journey of putting ME first.  My health, my fitness, and my heart.  For the past couple of years I have worked out on my own either at home, a variety of classes @ the gym, or upstairs @ the gym.  I was maintaining and staying in my comfort zone.  A dear friend kept trying to get me to try out Body Blast with her, but I was scared!

I wasn't sure how the twins would behave during class (they were 4 at the times) and I had been watching from upstairs Body Blast and it looked INSANE, and definitely something I could not do.  After more and more prodding from Quiana, I finally decided to try out the class.  It was hard, yes, but I did it and the twins behaved.  I was sore, I was whipped, and pushed beyond any exercise I had been doing on my own.  Last December, I started to regularly attend Body Blast whenever I could.  I felt great, and loved the class.  I stayed in the back, making sure to stay away from any and all attention.  Back left corner to be exact.  Once the school year came to an end (May), and I had seen Quiana's changes first hand I very timidly decided it was time to get to the bottom of my eating and ask a personal trainer to help me.  I knew I could push myself in the work outs, but I wanted to achieve more.  I wanted to finally change.  I was extremely nervous to see the changes she would ask of me, but I was NOT happy and wanted happiness.

I had absolutely NO idea that I could be successful, as I struggle deeply with a lack of confidence.  I like to hide behind clothes, hide my body in pictures by always staying in the back, or putting my children in front.  I was ashamed.  Ever since my oldest was born (6 years ago), I struggled with high blood pressure off and on.  I “thought” I was eating right and exercised five times a week, but it was still lingering around.  And migraines!!!  Migraines that required meds, made me vomit, and had to sleep them off.  Life was not enjoyable.

The trainer had me gradually change my diet to a clean diet and what happened beyond the food and the weight was more than I could have ever dreamt of:
* I lost 50 pounds in three months
* Came off all medications
* Migraines decreased and I found the trigger (dairy)
* Ran my first race, the Volkslauf
* Made friends who have and continue to inspire me daily

More than all that, though, I have found ME. I have found the light I was lacking in my life.  I have taken steps towards becoming a Christian, and developing my relationship with God (something I was not ready for when I started this journey, nor did I ever imagine it being a goal).  By listening to God and surrounding myself with amazing women, I was directed into becoming a certified group fitness instructor.  It was NOT my plan.  I am a certified middle school teacher and planned to start teaching in the classroom this upcoming school year, and then I was put in this position.  I was approached and I was pushed.  I did NOT ask for this.  I liked my comfort zone of the back of the class.  There was NOOOOOOOOOOOO way I would go in front of women.  I was not fit enough, I was not skinny enough, simply….I did not feel like I was enough.

I am so incredibly grateful for this group.  My heart is in this group and when I tell you I understand your struggles, I DO! This life is still very new, and I am not strong on my feet, I still waver, and continue to work on me.  But, more importantly, I hope that I can help some of you who are in the same position know that you are not alone, and that you, too, deserve to be happy and have a sparkle and light in your eyes.  Life is sooooo much happier and enjoyable when it happens.  I want other women to feel the empowerment, support, and love from our group just as I was shown.  So to those who have been coming and those that are new to our group, I hope you have found that special feeling this group has given to me and so many others.

I am beyond thankful for everyone who has been with me through this journey and believed in me.  Thank you for making me a part of your group and welcoming me with open arms.  I am simply blessed.

Sunday, January 12, 2014


No one, nor any documents can truly prepare you for a move like this.  Not only am I going through a rollercoaster of emotions, but the madness of deciding what to store, what to sell, what to donate, and what to bring is an insanely difficult process.

Yes, it is just "stuff."  But, this "stuff" makes us feel like we have a home, especially with the amount of times we have and will continue to move.

This weekend Cody spent his time sorting through the outdoor storage sheds.  The garbage can is full and the house is full of items to sell and donate.  We have one shed organized with items we are taking with us, and the other with items we are storing for two years.

We can't pack much of anything, because the Army has to, in order for it to be covered by their insurance.  So what we can and can't do is limited.  My mind does not shut off with things to accomplish and it's just getting closer and closer which makes it even more overwhelming.

AND....to add into the mix of all this madness, I signed up to take my personal training course and certification.  So, on top of all the moving madness, I've also created a new task list (meeting with counselor, paperwork, accounts, etc)...and the course starts next month, but I have till August to get it completed.  What was I THINKING?!

We are here....underneath a pile of "stuff" trying to figure out this new adventure.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Plane tickets

  • We have been in Illinois for the past two weeks visiting family, and came home last Thursday.  
  • We had to reorganize the new toys, and start immediately sorting and organizing what is and isn't going with us to Korea.  
  • Three whole closets in our house have been converted for this, and we still have an entire house to complete. 
  • The kids were supposed to go back to school Monday, but due to snow and then frigid temperatures, today (a two hour delay, at that) will be their first day back.  
  • It really hasn't bothered me to be home these extra days with them, mostly because we hadn't been home to relax since visiting so we enjoyed the time to do that these past couple days.  
  • Cody went to talk to travel yesterday and they went ahead and booked us our plane tickets for Korea.  (It's happening!!!!!)  
  • We leave March 1st, people!!!  Less then two months to go and yes, I am having straight anxiety about it all.  
  • We will be heading to a hotel two days before hand so we can clear our house we are currently in and for Cody to clear his unit.  
  • We leave at night and are going to be stuck in an airport on the other side of the country for 10 hours.  Start praying now for our sanity.