Cute baby Saturday - Hats

We were able to finally step foot outside the yesterday and today after being stuck for over a week with non-stop rain and storms.  Today, before heading outside to play they all insisted on wearing hats.

Friday Night Leftovers - even mommy's need time outs

• This week we had a tick scare with Addy.  It wasn't the finding or removal of the tick that scared us, it was her reaction and once talking to the nurse who informed us to bring her in within the hour, that is what caused me to freak the hell out.  I believe we are out of the scare stage and she simply has a swollen lymph node near the bite mark, but is fine. 
• My sister is getting a divorce, the only divorce in the family.  It is necessary and a long-time coming, but it is getting scary and at night I can't sleep thinking about what if.  Yes, it is that bad. 
• I just finished reading "Something Borrowed," which simply grabbed my attention, downloaded "Something Blue" and just saw that there is a movie coming out for "Something Borrowed" in a few days.  Perfect timing. 
• Speaking of books, I had to have my Nook unregistered and then registered again because of some technical problems.  I was pacing waiting for my time frame to restart was up.  I do not like to be interrupted from my reading. 
• I need to share the napping and sleep routines we have going on here these days, because boy has it all changed.  Eligh is the king of no naps and is currently in his room randomly kicking the wall.  Little shit. 
• Kinsley went from being potty trained all day to  being 100% trained, no diapers, pull-ups EVER.  She didn't want to wear her diaper to bed this week and was so very upset that we were going to put it on, so I let her try it out.  No accidents at naps or bedtime all week.  
• I think I know how to potty train Eligh - make him wear princess diapers.  He loves his monkey diapers and when I go to change him and ask him to use the potty he simply says, "I.don't.want.tooooo!!!!"  So....I told him I was going to put him in a princess diaper and he freaked out.  Cody would probably kick me out of the house if he saw his son in a princess diaper. 
• Addy likes going to t-ball because it is something to do, but she is bored.  She told me she wants to dance (of course - stupid wait list) and run (I'm thinking soccer).  She would probably be the one out in the field picking flowers or her nose.  So, we'll finish up the month of training and we chose not to register her for the real games this summer.  
• TMI - there cannot be any more weekend morning nookie.  This week the girls have been coming out of their room and into my room as soon as they wake up.  They used to just scream for us to come get them.  I could put a lock on their door again, but there was another day this week that the girls went to the bathroom and headed back to their room, which did allow me a little extra sleep.   
• Today I went bananas on the children and locked myself in my room for five whole minutes.  I just could not take another whine or cry, especially with the annoying headache I had.  

As always, check out our lovely host, Danifred, to see what others are bringing to the table.  

Substance

Jenner extended me this award a week or so ago and I am just now getting to it.  Just spew out seven facts about yourself, that's it.  I won't assign it to anyone, because you are all full of substance.  If you want to play along, go ahead, if not, no harm done. 

1.  I tend to watch drama-filled garbage on tv - every single housewife show, for example. 

2.  I have a love-hate relationship with the military and all that it encompasses, but it it is my life.

3.  I really hate making decisions from anything as minimal as what cup to give the kids in the morning to something more stressful as in who to give guardianship of our children to.

4.  I eat my m&m's in color order and have been known to spit out one if I happened to miss the color I was eating previously (yes, this is insane, I know.  Thankfully, I don't have m&m's in the house very often).

5.  I have to multi-task and find it beyond annoying that Cody is not as successful with this as I am.

6.  I do encourage the monkeys to clean-up their toys frequently and they will, but there are many times a day that I just do it myself so it can get done at a much faster rate than their little hands can. 

7.  I do not handle stress well, and have been known to cause myself to become sick from my own worry.   

Wordless Wednesday - Payback

A little payback to Eligh for all the name-calling.

Seriously, though, who doesn't love some pampering?

I am not

Eligh,

I am not Dave

I am not Steve

And....

I am DEFINITELY not Tony Danza

I blame your father for all of these new mix up of names, because for some reason he thinks your silly movies are quotable and need to be referenced frequently.  He has brainwashed you into already being a little smart ass, so I will continue to ignore your silliness and will only answer to my given name: "MOMMYYY!!!"  You know the name you yell when you are in pain, need something, and want rescuing from your sisters.  

Love you silly boy,
Mommy

Bust a Myth

 

It is National Infertility Awareness Week, and this year it is all about "Busting an Infertility Myth."  

What myth, could I possibly bust with three children happily living and flourishing?  

That is just it, the stigma that once you become a parent infertility leaves your soul just as the waves wash away the sand.  This may be true for some, but it is not an assumption that should be made.  For me and I am sure others, infertility makes a home in your heart showing it's reminder in little glimpses of light just as the sun peaks through the blinds during a beautiful spring day.  It is there, always a part of you who you are, no matter how hard the struggle to get to what others see as "the other side."  

My struggle was mine to live and no, it was not as complicated and hard as it may have been for so many others, but it was still a fight I had to face, and face mostly alone.  I went through my infertility battle with my husband as nearly my only support.  My friends had not suffered as I had, and did not know of others who had suffered, and my family simply shrugged their shoulders and continue to still ignore what I went through as if it was a figment of my imagination.  I felt invalid, incapable, and told my husband to leave me so he would not have to go through this with me.  Because HE did not deserve this. 

Yes, I have these three amazing, beautiful children who light up my day and make me a mother, what so many are still craving to become, but I still find moments when I look at them and wonder what if, why, how?  And, it still pains me to think of what should have been my first child, and my loss was FIVE years ago. 

I may not discuss or ponder my infertility struggle often on this blog, and tend to share much more about my children, but it does not mean I have overcome or forgotten where I once stayed.  If anything, I feel that I am in limbo unsure of where I really belong in this infertility community, and so I am left teeter-tottering never completely landing on either side. 

Click here to read more about infertility. 

Easter Favorites

I haven't brought out the camera all week, so my favorites are just from this morning.

Our Easter Bunny had to leave a letter due to bad weather

What's with her windblown model look?

Kinsley is definitely beating out Eligh in height

Twirly Whirleys (that's what these two call them anyways)

When reality sets in...

I have been pretty good about shoving these feelings deep down just to avoid facing their hard truth.
 
Let me first start by saying I am happy with the majority of my life.  We (my family) are all meshing smoothly together and able to spend quite a bit of quality time together, which is huge. 

But, I am still feeling lost. 

 I had simple goals: get married, have children, and teach.  Check, check, and check.

Soon it was up to me to produce our future, and I could not.  I was not good enough.  I forced these changes. 

These changes had to be made and I just followed along dutifully. 

I researched and tried to plan for the unknown and made a decision to head back to school.

I do believe this is the direction I want to head in, but what if I am again not good enough?  What if my short stint at a career is all I get?  What if  I live in the shadows of everyone elses' successes and forget who I once was? 

I'm nearing thirty in a couple of years and feel like I should be settled in all aspects of my life, but what if I don't ever find that place?  What if I continue to feel lost, always searching for my greater purpose, but never find it? 

Friday Night Leftovers - lack of motivation

• My mom headed back to IL on Sunday, which, of course, caused Addyson to have several pleas for her to stay.  We promised her that she could soon go to Grandma's house and pool as soon as it stayed warm.  
• I nearly had to make three visits to the doctor this week.  
• We started Monday out with me taking Kinsley to the doctor for what we believed to be a UTI.  She is on antibiotics and vinegar baths (she smells like a pickle).  I'll be taking her back at the end of next week for another check. 
• That night, Addy developed a sty on her eye.  We were assured that our at home treatment should work, and it has.  
• Yesterday I nearly broke down the girls' bedroom door in a damn panic attack.  I'm in the recliner reading a book while the monkeys are in complete eye sight running back and forth.  Next thing I know I hear a door shut and high-pitched screams from Eligh.  His hand was flippin in not only the door, but a locked door.  He has two, red, swollen fingers but we dot not believe they are broken.  My heart is still beating up in my throat.
• And yesterday I mentioned that all we seem to have is bad luck, see it is true.  Why us all.the.damn.time?
• My motivation for running has come and gone.  I was on track two weeks ago, then got sick, and now what is my excuse?  I am enjoying my sleep.  The alarm goes off, my clothes, and shoes look at me and tell me to wake my fat ass up and get on the treadmill, but instead I turn off the alarm and go back to sleep.  
• I did go to Zumba twice this week, does that count for anything?
• Self reflection:  I feel like I have been invited to a reunion of sorts, and I've got nothing to bring to the table.  I'm the dinner guest that shouldn't have been. 

You MUST, MUST, MUST check out our host, Danifred, she simply rocks.

ICLW

Wow, I have not participated in ICLW in FOREVER (like a year or more)!  Here is a rundown of what you might want to know about me before you decide to keep reading this week or not.

• I have three children born through fertility meds and two high-risk pregnancies
• Married to my high school sweetheart for the past seven years
• Former middle school teacher
• Stay at home mom and full time student for the next year or so (working on my masters degree)
• Considered an "unexplained infertile"
• Suffered one miscarriage
• Military wife for 7 years and counting
• Must drink coffee
• Struggling to get back into a workout schedule
• Control-freak
• I have a lot of bad luck surrounding me
• Working on finding my purpose in life

   
 

Some attitude mixed with money

Eligh:  "I love you now, mommy."  

Addy:  "You want me to give you an attitude?  Then, start listening!!!!"

Kinsley:  "I want a break."

Addy:  "I want to pinch daddy's nipples."

Eligh:  "I have big guns."

Addy:  "Sometimes my panties go in my butt and I have to get them out."
             "I want to drive that (a convertible) in a couple of days." (I tell her that I don't have money to   buy one).  "I want lots of money in my piggy bank. I love money!!!!"

A tale of the stubborn one

Ain't she cute?

I 110% agree.  

We have tried potty training Kinsley 863 times, with me ending in frustration and throwing my hands in defeat.  I know that I can't train a child that does not want to be trained, nor can I get mad at her for her stubbornness. 

About two weeks ago Cody and I decided we were going to put on our armor and head in for battle.  

A brief synopsis:

The first two days she decided that she would sit on the potty 315 times, and produce nothing.  Essentially holding it until nap time and or bedtime, but never soaking through the pullup.  How you may ask?  Because she is a clever one who decided to drink very little on those days.  

Day three we started seeing success with her using the potty at least once before and after nap.  

And then, it just spiraled into success.  After one week of being potty trained, I took her out of the house with only panties for about 30 minutes with no accidents and decided to do the same for our zoo trip.  Again, no accidents.  We had crossed the hurdle and were full speed ahead.  

Today she uses the potty on her own and yells "I did it!!!!!" upon completion.  She is still receiving m&m's and some stickers on a big piece of construction paper as her reward for going, and we will soon work on eliminating the rewards.  She also will only use the little potty when we are home, but has no problems using a big potty when are out in public.  

The best part of this all, Addyson is her biggest cheerleader and will jump up and down upon completion and just today when I was getting dressed Addyson came downstairs and said that Kinsley went potty and she took the potty, rinsed it out, and put it in the toilet.  I have NEVER EVER asked her to assist, nor do I want her to.  But, it does make me proud how much she wants to help.  

Weekly Winners - Dragons and Princesses

Addy's birthday week:

Custom made shirt - and she is mad that I haven't washed it yet since her first wearing

Rapunzel brush - yay!

Cake #1

Rapunzel from Grandma and Grandpa

Rapunzel cake and dress - Perfection

Supposed to be the top of Rapunzel's tower

Who is she?

Meeting Prince Charming

Meeting Princess Belle

I have never submitted a photo to MOM, but I caught a cute one of Eligh and Kinsley and noticed they were having the photo of the month, so why not?  If you have time, will you vote for them?  Photo number 5, and if you don't Addy will hunt you down on her dragon.  

Friday Night Leftovers

• I ran once this week, once!  Stupid cold, I hate you.  
• Speaking of cold, Eligh and Kinsley are still coughing all day and night.  No fevers, nothing we can do.  
• I can't believe I now have a 4 year old.  The attitude and sass is there, but it makes me sad.  It will always make me sad, so you will just have to deal with my sadness every April and September.  
• Kinsley is out of diapers (except naps and bedtime - which will take time).  We have made several longer trips and outings to verify.  As much as I want this, it also makes me sad to see her running around and not hearing a diaper. 
• Today I'll be picking up a custom-made cake to celebrate Addy's bday with her grandma (my mom).  I can't wait to see the finished product. 
• My mom will be heading down this afternoon and getting in late to celebrate Addy's bday tomorrow.  Saturday Addy, my mom, and I will be meeting a princess.  Addy has no clue.  
• I really do not like being in restaurants that still allow smoking.  If there was a wall or division some how I could probably handle it more, but instead I leave reeking of smoke and instantly have to shower.  I blame my mother who puffed smoke in my presence for 19years.
• I put our name on the wait list for on-post housing.  We are just exploring our options. 
• This may be silly, but Addy is starting a pre-k program next week.  We have been on a list and they finally called.  She'll only be there for a month, but I think (or hope) that it will make next year's full year transition easier.  
• Eligh is covered in scabs.  We have been outside a lot this week, and this boy can't walk without falling.  He doesn't cry when he has fallen nor do you know he is gushing blood until you see it dripping off his body.  But, then we MUST put a band-aid on the boo-boo or that's when the tears will flow.  
• Easter is coming up.  Who has plans?  Where are you going?  If you are cooking, what are you making?  
• One last thing:  I'm closing out a Scentsy party by early tomorrow, so if you are wanting something send me an email or you can simply order through the link.  Order now, and you could have a gift for your mother, or maybe you, yourself would like something for being such a rockin' mom.  Go on splurge, you deserve it!

As always, check out our host, Danifred, because she is simply amazing. 

Hunger

As the monkeys get older, their appetites have grown, as well.  Here is what they ate yesterday:

Breakfast:

• 3 bowls of cereal; one for each
• Apples for Addyson

Midmorning:  (the whining begins "I'm hunnnngry!!!")

•   Nutrigrain bars x3
• A bowl of cereal for Kinsley

Lunch

• Addyson = half of a grilled cheese sandwich, chips,  and one apple
• Eligh = chicken, chips, strawberries
• Kinsley = chicken, chips, strawberries

Dinner

• Addyson = 2 servings of sausage, 2 servings of potatoes, one serving of beans, and 2 oreos
• Kinsley = 3 servings of sausage, 2 servings of potatoes, and 3 servings of beans and 2 oreos
• Eligh = 1 serving of sausage, 1 serving of potatoes, and 2 servings of beans and 2 oreos 

All of that up and you have one long grocery list, an even larger bill, and one empty wallet.    
 

Wordless Wednesday - Variations

Remember how I totally made the wrong icing for Addy's bday cake?  Well, I kept it and this was my solution for using it up:

A fruit or food of choice for dipping:

Strawberries for Eligh

Apples for Addy

Umm...chips for Kinsley.  Weirdo

And always, always use your finger. 

Truthful Tuesday - "I don't care"

If you feel like sharing some "truths" here's an easy generator and make sure to send me a link so I can feel a little better about my own truths.

Addy's 4 year old interview

I just don't know where the time goes.  She has definitely gone from baby face to big girl face, especially in the past two years.  Sigh.

The questions:
1.  What is your favorite story? "Duck, Duck, Goose." (This is simply because it is on my Nook)
2.  What is your favorite book?  Rapunzel
3.  Who is your favorite character?  Rapunzel, Flynn, and the horse (Max)
4.  What is your favorite color?  Pink

5.  What do you want to be when you get older?  Big.  What else?  Just Addyson.  

6.  What is your favorite game?  My leapster and Tinkerbelle (goldfish game)

7.  What is mommy good at?  I don't know

8.  What is daddy good at?  Farting...heeeheee

9.  Where do you want to live?  The zoo

10. What is your favorite thing to do with Kinsley?  Uno Moo

11. What is your favorite thing to do with Eligh?  Playing trains

12. What is your favorite thing to do with mommy?  Cooking

13.  What is your favorite thing to do with daddy?  Play

14. What is your favorite food?  bow noodles

15.  What is your favorite drink?  Applejuice

16.  What is your favorite treat?  Chocolate, suckers, bananas 

And there you have it, my first princess is now 4 and it is already bringing about some changes.  We have now enter the sass.