I don't want to talk about it. It's just too much to wrap my head around. Too much.
Instead, let me talk about my vein issue.
About two months ago, I finally asked my doctor about my never-disappearing, painful bruise on my leg. First look, varicose veins and a referral to a vascular specialist. The specialist I was referred to is only 25 minutes away, but is only available one day a month. But, I got even luckier and he wasn't available for two months. So I waited.
About a month ago they sent me for pre-testing. Which involved wearing my upper body clothing and a pair of panties (good thing I wore the full coverage kind that day) and 1.5 hours of ultrasounds from the top of my thighs to the tops of my feet. I simply left knowing that something was going on with my veins, even though you can't actually see anything from the outside of my legs. I guess I have deep tissue veins. Again, I waited.
Two weeks ago, I finally got to meet the vascular specialist. He read the results, checked out my legs and told me that I have reflux in my one leg, which can lead to blood clots, but at this time I don't have blood clots. The only way to treat this problem is by a procedure which essentially burns and removes the problem vein to help reroute my blood flow. BUT, insurance companies require that patients try out the sexy compression stockings. The stockings will not do ANYthing to fix my problem or anyone else with a similar problem, but it is required for three months. So again, I wait....