Sunday, February 20, 2011

How to get crap on your pants

Yesterday after Cody got home from work, we decided to go run to the outlet mall that was supposed to also contain a certain toy store (which it did not).  Websites need to update their stuff.  Anyway, we picked up a couple necessities for the spring/summer for the kidlets and browsed the area.  Then we decided to drive an hour and a half to hit up this toy store, because we needed a new car seat for Addy and Target was sold out of anything comfortable, Eligh needed a bike, plus I had a gift card.  Off we went.

  • The kids were chomping on some food and watching a movie during this long drive.
  • 20 minutes remained and Eligh starts squirming telling us, "I pooped!  I pooped!"
  • I tell Eligh we will change him in a couple of minutes.  This worked for about 5 minutes.
  • More yelling, whining, and squirming from him and I decide to change him while we were driving (yes, I know this is wrong, but we could not pull over, and it was the first time we have ever done this).
  • It was dark out, so I had to put on the lights in the van.
  • I get out the wipes, a diaper, and put his string bean self on my lap.
  • I tear off the tabs of the diaper and begin to pull open the diaper.
  • I assumed it was one of his nugget type poops and was not at all worried about what I was about to unveil.
  • Pulling the diaper some more
  • Cody hits a bump
  • Diaper flies open
  • There is shit up the back of the diaper nearing the edge of the diaper
  • I attempt to lift his butt up to get to wiping
  • We hit another bump
  • Eligh squirms
  • Diaper falls
  • Shit gets on my jeans
  • "Oh my god!!!!  There is shit everywhere!"
  • Cody laughs.
  • "No seriously!!!!  IT'S ON MY PANTS!!!!"
  • Cody laughs some more.
  • (I should have taken the diaper and whipped it at his face for his mockery)
  • I get Eligh back in his seat
  • Scrub the hell out of my pants
  • Squirt antibacterial gel all over the shit stain
  • Scrub some more
  • Repeat, repeat, repeat
Lesson learned.  Never, EVER change a diaper in a moving vehicle. 


  1. Geez! I'll take this one to heart.

    I had a fiasco with newborn poo in the car (we were parked though) and I was changing her in the passenger seat. Well she decided to poo more and it got ALL over me, the door, the seat, and the parking lot! So pretty much I guess all diaper changes in vehicles is not a good idea!

  2. omg...this is horrible!!! note to self: no shit changing in a moving vehicle!

  3. What a story! Although highly frowned upon, diaper changing in the car at times is a necessity. Unfortunately it didn't turn out so well in this case. eeekk! Lesson learned, for both of us :)

  4. I will always be amazed by the things we do for our kids.

  5. How terribly gross! I have worn both pee and poop from both of my girls, and even though it's not as gross as someone else's excrement, it is still pretty yucky.
    I seem to remember that your OCD tendencies included hand sanitizing out the wazoo, so I know this was hard for you! Of course, I'm not judging you. I am just as OCD :)


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